Heralds, Harps and Havoc
by The Flying Rats
Summary: Crazy little ditties, demented tunes and insane goodness all from Brightly Burning: The Musical. PG for mild swearing.
1. The Insanity Begins...

Brightly Burning:  
  
1 Songs from the Musical  
  
  
  
Author's Notes: Well. I s'pose some explanations are in order. See, for a Literature project Julie (My friend and co-author. We share this pen name) decided to do a movie of Brightly Burning. I had read the book too-although about a year before this happened- so when Julie got stuck on the script she would come to me for help. One day when I was helping her out, I had the most extraordinarily brilliant idea.  
  
Why not make it into a musical?  
  
Julie, being the saner one, protested of course, but eventually gave in when I pointed out that the movie was bad enough that it wouldn't matter. We began writing songs to go with it, and we didn't realize until we were done that yes, the movie could get worse. To give you a sample of what the movie was like before, here are a few lines from the beginning:  
  
Lan: This is stupid! Haven is stupid! Why can't we go back to Alderscoft?  
  
Lan's Mom: Lan, do something useful today instead of nothing!  
  
Lan: Cloth is stupid!  
  
See what I mean? Well, after we filmed it I wanted to put the whole musical up here, but Julie protested. We came to an agreement: I would just post up the songs, and if people didn't flame the crap outta us, I could put up the musical. So here are the first few songs. Enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: We do not own Brightly Burning or any of its characters. They are copyrighted to Mercedes Lackey and probably lots of other people too. The lyrics to these songs (unfortunately) belong to us.  
  
* * *  
  
  
  
LAVAN'S FAMILY  
  
Lan's Parents: We're the cloth merchants and we're so cool!  
  
Lan: Go drown yourselves in a puddle of drool! I hate cloth except to wear  
  
Lan's Parents: We're sure you would if only you'd care  
  
Lan: Well guess what, I don't, and I'm sure I won't  
  
Lan's Parents: Fine you fool, you're going to school  
  
Lan: I'm not gonna go!  
  
Lan's Parents: O ho ho ho! Well, we think so!  
  
Lan: School is stupid. Just like cloth  
  
Lan's Parents: Well you're goin' unless you turn Goth!  
  
Lan: Well crap, this is just not fair!  
  
Lan's Parents: Don't and we'll tie you to a chair!  
  
Lan: I hate you, you all suck! I think I'd rather be a duck!  
  
Lan's Parents: Well you're not so go to school  
  
Lan: Heck no, I am not a fool  
  
Lan's Parents: Yes you are, so shut up dumb kid  
  
Lan: Fine, but I'm not happy about what you just did  
  
All: 'Cuz we're aalllll faaaaaaammiilllyyyyyy!!!  
  
  
  
  
  
THE FORMER SIXTH'S  
  
Sixths: We're the Sixth formers and we're so cool, we always rule the school! Punching people is our game as well as calling names!  
  
Lan: Well I don't think that you're so hot, and smart you are not!  
  
Tyron: Yeah, well get me red silk or I'll steal all your milk  
  
Lan: I don't have any money  
  
Sixths: Well steal it then honey  
  
Lan: First my milk, then silk, geez do you guys just have a thing for stealing?  
  
Sixths: We just like the greedy feeling!  
  
Lan: Well I'm not getting you silk, so there!  
  
Sixths: We'll beat you then, we don't care!  
  
Lan: Bullies! I hate you! (Faints)  
  
Sixths: Well whoop de do!  
  
(AN: Little explanation here. Since Lan goes home between now and when he burns up the bullies, what we did was stop this song, then cut to Lan's house with another song. After that we finished up The Former Sixths. Got it? Good.)  
  
  
  
  
  
Bully Fever  
  
  
  
(Lan's Mom's lines are spoken)  
  
Lan's Mom: How did you get so sick all of a sudden?  
  
Lan: I caught the Bully Fever  
  
Got to bully down  
  
Bully Fever  
  
I think it's goin' around  
  
Lan's Mom: What kind of nonsense is this?  
  
Lan: Tyron's a bully  
  
He beat me upside down  
  
He and his bullies  
  
Hangin' around  
  
Lan's Mom: The fever has gone to your head. Tyron's a very nice boy from a very nice family.  
  
Lan: Tyron told me  
  
To steal some silk  
  
Tyron's a bully  
  
Along with his ilk  
  
Lan's Mom: Oh dear, the fever has made you delirious!  
  
Lan: Mom please don't make me  
  
Go back to school  
  
Tyron, that bully  
  
Will break more then the rules  
  
Lan's Mom: That's enough. You're going back to school as soon as you're better.  
  
Lan: Ohhhh maaaaaaaaaan…  
  
  
  
  
  
THE FORMER SIXTHS (CONTINUED)  
  
  
  
Lan: Oh no, I'm better and I don't have any silk! What will I do about Tyron and his ilk?  
  
Tyron: What is that I hear? You don't have anything for me, my dear?  
  
Lan: Crap! This is really not good!  
  
Bullies: Too bad your head is a block of wood.  
  
Lan: Oh help, they're dragging me away! I don't think I'll live to see another day!  
  
Bullies: Don't worry dolt, we won't kill you! We just wanna beat you till you're black 'n blue!(Bullies start flogging Lan)  
  
Lan: Ow! Ow! Ow!  
  
Bullies: Don't have a cow!  
  
Lan: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! (Sets everything on fire)  
  
Bullies: WHOOOOOOOOOAAA!! (Some of the bullies burn up)  
  
Tyron: Help! Don't kill me!  
  
Lan: Oh, no! I've set the fire free!  
  
Bullies: Help, its gonna get us!!  
  
Tyron: Oh shit, I mus—(Burns up)  
  
Bullies: Help! Help! (All burn up)  
  
Lan: Man, I really need some kelp. I think I'm a murderer now, I just wish that I knew how! I'm feeling guilty, really a lot. Wow, that fire is really hot!  
  
  
  
  
  
ELENOR'S SONG OF SORROW  
  
  
  
(AN: This is a solo, sung by—who else?—but Elenor!)  
  
The guy I love is in love with his horse  
  
I wish he would love me instead, of course  
  
It's just not right; it's just not fair  
  
The dumb Companion is covered with hair  
  
But my hair is better is only Lan would see  
  
The only choice for a wife is me!  
  
Sometimes I could kill him, but that's all right  
  
I just don't want to get in a fight  
  
Especially not with Laaaaavan  
  
Even though he acts like he's eleeeevaaan!  
  
But that stupid guy loves his Companion  
  
It makes me cry 'cuz he's my Champion  
  
Oh, this is my song of sorrow  
  
And I'll sing it 'cuz there's not tomorrow  
  
Oh, I LOOOVE LAAAAAAVAAAAAN!!  
  
  
  
* * *  
  
  
  
::crosses fingers hopefully:: Weeeell? Dija like it? There's more to come, and these were the sanest song of the lot. And always, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! Please do it! What you think of these songs determines if you get to see the whole crazy musical.  
  
Well, gotta go do my homework, so this is Krissy, signing off and saying: Have a nice cup of pudding everybody! 


	2. An Ode to My Companion

Brightly Burning:  
  
1 Songs from the Musical: Chapter 2  
  
  
  
Author's notes: Wow! We have…reviews! ::gives everyone who reviewed a huggle:: YAY!! I'm so happy! ^_^_^_^_^_^ Honestly, I really didn't expect to get any reviews at all. (When you read 'An Ode to My Companion' you'll understand.) And yeah, I know we don't have much in the way of rhythm, but that's 'cuz mostly we were just trying to make words rhyme.  
  
Now, moving on to the second chapter. Fun for the whole family! Enjoy y'all!  
  
Disclaimer: We do not own Brightly Burning or any of its characters. They are copyrighted to Mercedes Lackey and probably lots of other people too. The lyrics to these songs (unfortunately) belong to us.  
  
* * *  
  
AN ODE TO MY COMPANION  
  
(AN: ::scratches head:: Um. Yeah. This was our first song, so it's a little…unorthodox. It's also a solo, sung by Lan to Kalira.)  
  
1.1 Verse 1  
  
I was lost and all alone  
  
With no place to call my home  
  
Well, maybe I did, but that's okay  
  
I still love you anyway!  
  
Setting fires everywhere  
  
I just couldn't bring myself to care  
  
A vision of white, a galloping horse  
  
You chose me Kalira, of course, of course  
  
Then there was peace inside my heart  
  
You saved me, although you should be attached to a cart  
  
1.2 Chorus  
  
You galumphing horse, you are my world, my lifelong source  
  
I wish that you could be my wife  
  
But people would stab us with a knife  
  
'Cuz they think that it is wrong  
  
But we don't listen to the throng  
  
That is why I sing this song!  
  
1.3 Verse 2  
  
I know this may sound kind of silly  
  
You are my lavender dilly  
  
I would be you sweet-doo  
  
You would be my honey-poo  
  
It's to dang bad we can't get hitched  
  
(My mom would have a royal bitch)  
  
But hey, that's okay! We'll live on anyway!  
  
1.4 Chorus  
  
You galumphing horse, you are my world, my lifelong source  
  
I wish that you could be my wife  
  
But people would stab us with a knife  
  
'Cuz they think that it is wrong  
  
But we don't listen to the throng  
  
Thaaaat is whhhhy I siiiiing thiiiiiis sooooooong!  
  
(spoken)I love you Kalira!  
  
  
  
BLINDSIGHTED: POL'S LAMENT  
  
  
  
(AN: Yup. Another solo. This time sung by Pol.)  
  
That stupid Karsite fell on me  
  
Now I cannot see  
  
::bonk:: Oh shit…I think that was a tree  
  
Man, this really sucks a lot  
  
I can't even stir a pot  
  
Well, that's not entirely true  
  
I can see through my Companion's eyes  
  
(They're blue)  
  
Stupid Karsite, wish he was dead  
  
He didn't need to fall on my head  
  
Hey, that's right, he's dead after all!  
  
Lan put him on fire, he had a ball!  
  
I guess life is not so bad  
  
Even though my wife is sad  
  
Well, hey, I'll just go marching on  
  
While Lan burns the Karsite con!!!  
  
  
  
  
  
LAVAN'S LAST BATTLE  
  
  
  
Lavan lit a big fire  
  
He made it burn up high'r  
  
His Companion died  
  
And Lavan cried  
  
And now to die was his desire  
  
His heart struck dumb  
  
His body numb  
  
As he watched his beloved slip away  
  
A big fire he lit  
  
Burned up every poor git  
  
On the side of evil that day  
  
And the people cried  
  
On the day that Lavan died  
  
Then Lavan was no more  
  
But he had won the war!  
  
And then the Karsites were all gone  
  
All the people had left by dawn  
  
So some morons wrote this song  
  
But now it has gone on to long  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
END  
  
  
  
* * *  
  
  
  
Well, that's it. Go home. The party's over. I'm feeling reaaaaally crappy right now (Allergies suck! Being sick sucks!) so you're gonna have to wait a little bit for the whole musical. ::slinks off to sleep for a good 24 hours:: 


End file.
